i call it brave
the discomfort and promise of change, and a look back into 2006
Chiseled into the deepest grooves of my most inherent set-in-stones, is an innate distaste for change. I like clear expectations—plans to be upheld. Even plans I dread such as a pending medical test or arduous chore that needs doing are made more tolerable by the mere fact that I’ve taken them into consideration. I know when they’re coming and can therefore gear up, mentally prepare, and ready myself. No surprises.
Back in 2006, I was a college student working on a psychology degree, participating in theatre productions, working multiple part-time jobs, and subconsciously wishing I were an artist.
One evening at dusk, my friend Ryan, and I were walking-and-talking along the abandoned railroad tracks behind my apartment when we came upon the metal train door of a boxcar lying on the side of the tracks.
The idea of turning it into something—some piece of art, perhaps—tugged at me until I voiced it aloud to Ryan, who- being someone who always jumps to help, volunteered to carry it back to my apartment for me. Only after did I realize how incredibly heavy a boxcar door is and what a good sport he was for obliging my whims.
Soon after, I hosted a Painting Ways party at the condo apartment I shared with 5 other students, and invited friends to stop by to contribute to the collaborative painting (which has actually moved with me to each home I’ve lived since and resides on my back patio to do this day). There’s actually a lot of space left on the door, so I may just have to host another gathering someday.
Something that’s stuck with me all these years are the 4 words left on the doorframe by my roommate, Becky, over her impressionistic, gently mottled blue-green background: “All change is motion.”
Change is motion, and movement is the opposite of stagnancy. It means we aren’t stuck—we’re still breathing and living and growing—a comforting thought that shifted my perspective and continues to resurface again and again as life becomes less predictable.
i call it brave
by kimberly kuniko
to transform
making
space for
taking shape
more
fully
i call it brave
Transformation of any kind takes- at the very least, a concerted effort- and more so, bravery. Change is uncomfortable because we haven’t been there before. Unknowns feel scary, make us feel wary, or second-guess even what we do know.
But, I want to be brave enough to take new routes in my creativity, express myself in ways that feel vulnerable at first, but become more comfortable with time and practice (like when I first started creating activism art about things I just couldn’t stay silent on anymore, and a jumble of nerves and lack of confidence rose up in warning: “You sure you want to do this? You might be getting it all wrong, and this is too important to botch up.”).
Looking around me at all the toxic noise spewing from those most resistant to change, I realize that it’s stagnancy and stubbornness that are far scarier. So, I take a deep breath and let my resolve and fervor grow—to keep changing, lean into the transformation of taking shape more fully, and remain open to learning and movement.
Leveling Up Your Art Vendor Game Workshop co-hosted with Kristina Yu of Cheery Human Studios (8/9)
Creativity Keepers Sessions every second-Tuesday (8/13)
Dream & Scheme Co-Working Sessions (8/13 + 8/30)
Freehand Watercolor Patterns Workshop at Nellita’s Craft in Little Tokyo, DTLA (10/5 + 10/12)
@unrwausa // unrwausa.org // Non-profit organization supporting Palestinian refugees
@jewishvoiceforpeace // jewishvoicesforpeace.org // Jews organizing toward Palestinian liberation and Judaism beyond Zionism
Find my evergreen blogpost for ways to support Palestinian creatives, artists, writers, and companies + orgs with actions we can take
© Kimberly Kuniko
let’s connect // lacelit.com | @lacelit | creativity club + retreats | dream & scheme community for small business owners